You Touched My Heart♥

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Studied w JinKai at Kallang Macs just now.

Managed to complete quite a few homework, but im still not done yet! :(

Sianz, still have to complete the rest later....................

So lazy, so so lazy.

We saw Miss Han thr too! Haha.

It's Monday agn tmr.

Siannnnnnnnn another week of........... (inserts anyth bad here)

Cant wait for Friday agn!

And orientation camp of courseeeeeeeeee!

Oh, but at least these people always makes my JC life a better one :)

♥ 8:11 PM

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Sometimes I rly dont understand........

Why cant I be like majority of the 17yr old girls out there.

Healthy.

There were so many CCAs I wanted to try out for.

Modern Dance, Volleyball, Softball, Hockey etc.

But I couldnt.

I choose to have 'no life', choose not to betray my teammates, than to choose another CCA and worsen my back.

People go,

'You join so long not sian meh?'

'Join same CCA for so long damn no life ley'

'So sian to join same CCA agn, join other CCAs lahh'

'Why dont want try out for other CCAs?'

They.dont.understand.at.all.

They dont understand that im dying to join other CCAs, but I cant.

Dont understand how much it means to me, when I see that 0.1mm improvement in my back, while they say $75 per session is a total waste of money and time cus 0.1mm improvement is nth.

Dont understand how guilty I feel wasting my Mum's money just for that back.

Dont understand the feeling of being looked down on, having ppl giving the look of sympathy, and people asking 'why you so many problems one?'

Sorry, I just needed to let all this out.

Just tired and frustrated of all the comments about me joining tabletennis again.

I have some reasons, that made me join tabletennis willingly.

And also some reasons, that forced me to join it.

No matter what, I am in tabletennis, like it, or not.

Since im alr in it, I choose to stay w my teammates.

Cus I wont betray them for some non-sports CCA either.

Ugh k I shall not rant any further...........

Just dislike the feeling whereby you feel awful but noone truly understands.

Last note to make:

I should still be glad and contented, that im healthier than some people out there.

When you think yur life sucks, there are people whose lives suck a hundred times more than you.

Contented, no matter what.

♥ 10:36 PM

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Yoz im back agn cus I suddenly have the 'hweeeel' yknw.

K, feel.

Sorry to disappoint you agn, no pictures as usual haha! :)

Sch has been...... Tiring obviously.

Everyday when I reach home, the first thing my parents will say is,

'You look very tired'

'Why so moody today?'

Who made me feel this way everyday in the first place?

K I shall nt go into ranting mode, I shall be contented w what I have.

Just........ Filled w some regrets, till now.

Dont get me wrong, my friends are pretty awesome, theyre the ones who make me smile/laugh through all the stress shitz!

And surprisingly, all 18 girls in my class are relatively nice, no certain bitchy or backstabber characteristics just yet.

Im really glad :D

But, who wouldnt feel stressed up to the max, when youre one of the few (1/4 to be exact) who took Combined Sci in sec sch?

Adding onnnnnnn, im the only one in the whole Bio group to have no Bio backgrnd at all.

Nope, you didnt read wrongly, neither are you blind.

My teacher said this during lecture, in front of the whole group today,

'You all should know this (Some bio thingy) cus you all went through this in O lvl Bio right? Okay except for that one person who do not have any Bio backgrnd. That person should work extremely/doubly hard.'

I knw she meant well, but you have no idea how looked down I felt, and the amount of stress that I never knew existed.

Throughout the whole lecture, the thought of whether to go back to taking Physics or press on and continue to take Bio changed here and thr at the rate of a machine gun.

You have no idea how close I was into giving this up. Really, that close.

But FOR NOW, I decided to still press on.

I hope I have enough ammo to survive this.

Combined Sci + No bio backgrnd.

Many would be going,

'Youre kidding me right?'

Ah in any case, I knw I have to work X (Who knws how many times) harder than the rest, cus of the above reasons. The amt of stress is rly so........... overwhelming.

So overwhelming that I rly cant take it at times.

Why was I such a damn slacker in sch last time, HONESTLY.

Cus im so not used to this.........

But im still trying.

I knw all these may sound exaggerating to some of you, but you'll nvr truly understand unless youre me.

So, yeah, if you think its exaggerating, so be it.

Just that, you dont have to let me know :)

Lol.

Tata!

P.s I knw my current partner wont see this, but its her birthday tmr. She's a nice j2 senior plus partner! So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D

P.s I still miss Rachtan as my partner, definitely. Playing w my new partner just reminds me of you! I miss the high times we used to have together w Jyening and Hannah as well. My current trng is just lacking smth, and that's you girls.

♥ 9:02 PM

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Im bored so yeah.

Yesterday was a day out w the guys frm 4RP again (Allan, Mayer and Guoan), cus as usual, no girls wanted/could come.......................

The girls frm my class went ahead w their sushi lunch while I went over to meet 4RP cus I alr said I would be going. Yes me no pangseh/bias kiaz lol wtheck.

Satisfied my Laksa craving, thanks to them, again!

Chilled arnd Parkway for awhile, whr I went to the pet shop, as usual!

Sadly, the super cute dog is sold alr I think :(

It's this reallllllly adorable Pomeranian dog!!!!!!!!

The owner is damnnnnnnnnn lucky I swearz.

Too bored to stay at Parkway, like duhhhhhhhhhh.

So we headed to ECP!

Been like what, yeaaaaars since I played the DDR.

But I still gave it a try w Guoan! And also stayed at the arcade for some time.

We headed over to the beach to just chill as well, since we had nth to do.

Mannnnn, If I could just sit there and stone the whole evening, I would.

The ocean was sooooo damn awesomely blue and the beach......!!!!

So calm and stuff ; Felt great just sitting thr and look at the waves crash onto the beach, or just stare alllll the way out to the ocean.

Fun day spent w em as expected :)

Tmr's college road run, IF IT DOESNT RAIN!

And we get to go home at 12pm if the event is on.

SO PLEASE DO NOT RAIN TMRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Anyone free to go out/have lunch aft 12pm tmr?

I know its prolly 99% that noone will want/be able to, but im just trying my luck lol.

I have nth else to say and im sorry its so wordy as usual, no pics + ive kinda lost the interest in blogging (Maybe cus im moody/tired, I dont know.)

Zai jian.

Angyh, stop thinking so much cus noone will ever wna be that guy, noone noone.

Especially him.

♥ 9:25 PM

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Yay met up w Mayer and Guoan today again!

Had KFC w em yesterday, they satisfied my craving so thankyouuuuuu :D

Met up w em at Tamp mall today aft lessons to catch Percy Jackson, AGAIN!

(Percy Jackson's eyes are like soooooooooo amazingly nice and charminggggggg and hot hehehehehehahahahhohohoho)

There were a few childish boys making alottttttt of noise though.

So we took turns to kp them, but they didnt wna stop -.-

Damn irritating I swearz.

It's like you kp them, and they keep quiet awhile, and they start all over again........ z

Oh, and we had lunch at Ajisen yay!

We had some spare time so they played w their PSPs while I revised alittle.

You have no idea how sucky the feeling was k........ To look at them play their PSP and so carefree, while you mug yur ass off -.-

And im coughing + wna vomit + fluuuuuuuuu.

If I was still in sec sch, I'd just go sleep and prolly skip sch the following day.

But now..............

No matter how uncomfortable I feel, still have to force myself to finish homework and do necessary revision for mini tests.

And......... Go to sch tmr.

And I still have to go for trng tmr when my baby toe hasnt fully recovered.

Cus I've not been to a single trng, and I keep telling them 'I'll try' but nvr evn turn up once.

So yeah......... Sianz to the max.

Seriously, fuck this x1000000000000 really.

And Dad's being........ again for claiming that I put words into his mouth.

But at the end of the day, you know and I know what's the truth aye.

I shouldnt have respected and listened to you, again.

Should have went to poly, the kinda life I want.

Mar de, whatever.

K I knw im ranting but sorry this is my blog :)

I need to rant I want to rant.

K anyway, thankyou so much to Mayer and Guoan for at least letting me feel what it's like to have a life again :D

Cannot emo, so......

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Your kindness + name totally brings back memories, ugh.

♥ 10:49 PM

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Taken from Sheryl Chia's blog.

So many failed ones, that I dont know when and how to start believing and trust again.

But I'll be waiting for the guy who I'll truly be able to believe in :)
No matter how long it takes, I'll wait.
& Hope there really is that guy out there.

Besides, what's the hurry? :)

Sidetrack, thanks Mayer for yur company and encouraging words these few days! :D

You have no idea how much I appreciate it, so xiexie ni!

Sentosa or just chilling out some time soon okay shorty pinkie haha!

♥ 10:56 PM

Sunday, February 14, 2010

First off,

A VERY HAPPY CNY & VALENTINE'S DAY TO EVERYONE OUT THERE :D

Hope y'all get lots of angpaos + have a good time w yur loved ones! :D

K next, school!

I think my classmates are pretty awesome!

The girls are all slowly bonding and hanging out together as well :)

Clique yay!

Jumpshot fail.

Fail, again. (There's a few of this haha)

So we finally gave up!

I was late on Fri again, and thought I was gna get suspension.

But about 100 ppl were late, and the teacher thought my reason was acceptable, so I sorta got off the hook :) Phew.

Met up w just a few of 4RP after lessons at Marina sq! :D

Watched Percy Jackson and ITS FRIGGIN AWESOME I SWEARZ.

My fav movieeeeeeeeeeeeee + Percy Jackson is so cute lah puhlease.

Had dinner at Just Acia next, and all of them concluded that :

JC has made me ultra blonde and blur.

(Thats not true, I was just really tired frm school that day so I couldnt think clearly really!)

Yeah, they had a good time going all 'OMG YH WHAT HAS JC DONE TO YOU'

and laughing their ass off + smacking their forehead(s) like theyre gna die cus I was too blonde/blur.

And of course, stuff like 'Eh wna go out on wed or thurs or fri? Oh wait, you have school!' were all mentioned damnnnnn frequently.

Awesome huh, not (N)

But neverthless, I had alot of fun :D

Met up w Mayer today to supposingly get our watches!

But we realised it's not worth it so we went around searching for watches plus my pumps!

I only got my pumps in the end, and caused him to eat lunch only at 4+ lol.

So, thankyouuuu very much + really sorry SHORTY PINKIE! :D

These few days have been kinda awesome cus I got to go out w my friends :D

Be it TPJC-ians or Chungcheng-ers, yay :)

And aft cny is over, it's gna be hell again.

All the workload + no time to slack and 'shitz I dont understand' crap is gna fall back into my life once more.

Tata!

(Baby toe faster heallllllllllllll manz)

♥ 1:26 AM

Monday, February 8, 2010

Had a catchup session w teammates on Friday!

We all met up to catch the juniors' match :D

And duhhhh we totally had to hug each other when we met hahahaha.

The juniors lost, but im still very proud of them for improving so much :)

Esp the Cdiv!

Continue to work hard alrighttttt!

We wanted to go down another time for the Ngeeann match, but all of us are too busy.

So, if any cchmstt girls are reading this, ALL THE BEST AND JIAYOU OKAY! :D

Had dinner w team and juniors at KFC aft that and walked arnd + chat.

Yeah I was rly happy haha, cus it's been awhile since I just hung out like that, like ever since jc started. (So no life right, I know)

So yeah, I've met my new classmates, and theyre pretty nice! :D

Im closer to two girls though, and we keep avoiding this weird guy in our class,

it gets so hilarious at times really.

And we just laugh at every single minor thing! Hahaha.

Ohh, and im in the Hawk (Yellow) House woooooots!

Personally, im quite happy w it lah haha, cus we didnt get a particular house that all three of us dislikes!

I still miss some of my OG friends though :/

Though we're not bonded in a way whr we hang out alot outside sch or cheer alot, but we just like to chill together, and I miss doing that w em :(

Ah and evn though I had the worst orientation ever, I shall tahannnnn.

Cus I hope/believe our Orientation camp in March will be as good/better than the Orientation programmes in other jcs! :D

Im so behind time and I desperately need help yay, especially in Bio.

Those chim names are drowning me and the teacher thinks everyone took Bio in sec sch so she doesnt bother to explain anything (N)

Tata!

Still waiting for that miracle, however slim it may be.

♥ 11:18 PM

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Filled w doubt right now! :(

(Im ranting alllll on my thoughts, so sorraye its so wordy hahaha)

We got our subject combi today, and all I could do was just :O and stare blankly at the list.

My first choice was H1 Bio and second choice H1 Physics.

I was alr prepared to get my second choice since it's essential to have a Bio backgrnd in order to take up Bio.

But guess what, THEY LET ME TAKE H1 BIO!!!!!!!!!!!

I was like seriously extremely hyped up hahahahaa.

I wanna thank Junjie for trying to cheer me up.

He said that maybe this is really a predetermined path.

That im fated to go tpjc, and that i'll do better in there and like it as time goes by.

Though I didnt manage to appeal earlier and sacrificed a place in SA and Nanyang,

I finally believe that maybe all this is really fated.

Yes, my score was eligible to get into Nanyang, but I didnt.

Ive been feeling rly down abt it, and felt that no matter how hard I try, im just stuck in tpjc.

But after all, I believe God has plans for us.

Cus I managed to get Bio here, which is totally impossible in SA or Nanyang.

Not to mention H2 Chem and Math as well.

And the people are actually pretty nice!

So, thankyou God :)

However, what followed after was fear.

Im afraid I cant cope, cus Bio is like some stranger to me.

Whereas, Physics is the subj tht im considered good at IMO........

So now im thinking whether to take Bio or Physics.

I dont want to retain and im really afraid I cant cope,

but Bio's interesting to me and im really lucky to be able to take it.

I've asked myself if I really like Bio..........

And I seriously have no idea.

I know I suck at memory work,

but I just feel obliged to take Bio cus I want to find a cure for Dad's illness.

So naturally, Biomed just became a goal in my life.

Also, I've not decided whether to join back tabletennis or not.

It feels awesome to know that youre at least good at something.

And I realised that I've not lost the passion for it.

Cus of my back, Ive been deproving.

And all along, Ive been using the same excuse that I've lost passion for it, just to avoid the fact tht I've deproved.

When im able to play well, I gain back that passion.

What a loser right.

Ah but I also wna try smth new...............

And a whole lot of other reasons why I dont wanna join t-t again.

It's not always about doing what I like, sometimes it's more wise to stick to smth youre good at.

And vice versa of course.

So much thoughts skittering in and out of my mind.....

But afterall,

It all comes down to,

Whether I should do what I like, or what im good at.

Which obviously applies to both my CCA and subject combi sigh..........

This may sound nothing to you, but it actually affects my future.

So yeah, I hope I make the right choice asap.

K im a guaikia wo qu du shu le.

And (clap)(clap)(clap) if you managed to read the whole thing lol.

Tata.

Labels: To do what I like or what im good at?

♥ 7:10 PM

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

JC life can be summarised in one word for me: Tiring.

I realised that, ever since I entered JC, im forced to grow up and can no longer be a kid that just wants to have fun all day long.

During lectures, the tutors dont evn wait for you.

If you cant catch up, too bad.

It's like youre totally on yur own and forced to be independent.

Im actually quite alright w my school already, except for the orientation.

The orientation isnt evn like one......... z.

Plus, other jcs are still having orientation while we have alr started lessons.

We're gna have a orientation camp, but tht's like weeks or months later.

Retarded right? Shouldnt all the orientation stuff be before the lessons so that we can get to know each other before lessons start?

Their lessons are extremely poorly planned as well.

Most of us have no lessons for the whole day, or sometimes even a 4 hr break till our next lesson ._.

Anw, CCA exhibition was today!

Some CCAs were rly soooo coooool.

I was so attracted to em and wanted to sign up so badly.

But my back injury prevented me from doing so ultimately.

Yeah, the feeling was awful.

My heart rly sank and I rly felt damn useless z.

I ended up signing up for some non-sports CCAs, so unlike me....... -.-

Yeah like band and guitar. I fell in love w band after I heard them play :)

I signed up for volleyball as well though, always liked it.

Then............ My ex coach spotted me and dragged me to tabletennis z.

So I got kinda forced to sign up for it.

And he kinda demanded me to go for trng on Fri.

They need players so yeah..............

And I just feel bad if I reject them.

Cus the captains's rly nice!

And yes they really need players.

But the thing is, I dont have a passion for tabetennis anymore.

Damnit my mum's right, why do I always put other people infront of myself........... -.-

Ugh I rly dont knw what to do lahh.

I desperately need advice manz.

Anyone pleaaaaaaaaaaaase, should I continue w t-t or join something new?

Im totally stuck in the middle ._.

Tagboard or whateverz, rly appreciate it thanks! ♥

As expected, drifting apart seems like a routine in life.

It's human nature, and part of life I guess.

Labels: Forced

♥ 6:58 PM